The Weirdest Things You Can Buy at Temu, the Internet’s New Favorite Jumble Sale


 

Launched less than a year ago, e-commerce site Temu has quickly established itself as the online world’s new favorite jumble sale—the destination of choice when you’re looking for an impossibly wide array of incredibly cheap products.


The Chinese-owned digital flea market, available as a website and in app form, offers free shipping to new customers and constant sales on a vast collection of semi-disposable products. Temu sells everything—car accessories, video game gar, household goods, novelty t-shirts, sex toys, power tools...you name it, they have it, or a cheap facsimile thereof. Because despite its slogan “shop like a billionaire,” you won’t find many name brand products on Temu. That’s not the Temu way. It’s like Amazon, except everything is chintzy. Chintzier.

How shady is Temu?

While Temu isn’t an outright scam site, it’s not exactly trustworthy either. Its meteoric rise was fueled by aggressive marketing strategies, including a barrage of “free credit” offers and an army of thousands of “Temu Ambassadors” who flood TikTok and other social media sites with coupons to earn commissions for each signup they are linked to.

As you might expect from the online version of Dollar Tree, product quality and customer service are not always Temu’s strong points. The company has a 2.35 our of 5 star rating with the Better Business Bureau, with many users reporting long waits to receive products (or not receiving anything at all). In true internet-retailer-from-China-style, the product you receive also might bear only a passing resemblance to the photos on the site.

But else what would you expect? If you want a company with an established name and working customer service department, stick to Amazon. If you want a 3D printer for $13, Temu is your jam. (As eagle-eyed commenters have pointed out the $13 is actually for 3D printer filament, while the printer itself is around $100—still pretty cheap.)

What kinds of products should you purchase from Temu?

Temu’s bottom-of-the-retail barrel style is perfect for some kinds of products, especially things that don’t actually need to be high quality. If you want a plastic holder for soda cans for your fridge, or a basket to rinse rice, Temu is the move.

Temu is also good for taking risks. I put this $20 distortion pedal in my cart. It’s probably crappy, but you never know. But if you want something like new running shoes, I’d steer clear of ankle-breaking monstrosities like these Y2K Men’s Blade Sneakers. I wouldn’t buy cooking knivesbedding, or a tuxedo jacket on Temu either.

You can buy a lot of strange things on Temu

I might buy this shirt though. I assume it’s low-quality, uncomfortable, and made of melted plastic water bottles, but it’s literally the ugliest shirt I have ever seen. A shirt with a pattern this complicated would cost like $400 at Dan Flashes, but it’s less than eight bucks on Temu. It’s a novelty of a shirt, and novelty items are where Temu really shines.

Consider the following as all the proof you’ll need:

The “As Seen on TV” collection

Some people delight in the possibilities of gimmicky, single-use gadgets that solve problems no one actually has. Previous generations had to buy them through late-night infomercials at often astronomical prices. Temu can scratch the same itch for almost nothing, so if you see an ad for a product you like, check Temu before you buy. Below are some “as-seen-on-TV” style Temu knock-off products. I don’t recommend any of them.

Temu sells many things you can smoke weed out of

I do not recommend any of these products, but if you like smoking weed and you’re too grown up to go with a crushed soda can, you can smoke weed out of...

If your drug-taking predilections have progressed past weed, Temu’s deals on glass pipes and “snuff spoons” cannot be beaten.

Your one-stop shop for grillz (and also grills)

You can buy cheap grills on Temu all day, but you can also buy cheap grillz, so you can finally achieve that “local rapper circa 2003" look.

Temu is the perfect place to purchase sex toys

Sex toys are Temu’s killer app. The dildo-markup at your local adult bookstore borders on criminal, but the straight-from-China offerings at Temu are comically inexpensive. I do not recommend you put any of these products inside your body or putting any part of your body inside any of these often terrifying products, but here’s a small taste of the erotic side of Temu:

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